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You may already know what has to be done or you may already be linked to an organisation which will handle things for you. If not, perhaps the following points may help.

Unless there are special religious or cultural reasons for holding a funeral quickly, there is no need to hurry and you can take all the time you need to make sure the funeral is arranged in a way that will be meaningful to you.


Choosing a Funeral Director

You will obviously want to ensure that the funeral arrangements are organised efficiently and with dignity and respect for your loved one. You may wish to make these arrangements yourself but, if not, why not consider the help of relatives or of a close and trusted friend? Very often, relatives or close friends wish to help and they can share the burden with you.

The Bereavement Officer is not able to recommend individual Funeral Directors, but they can help by giving you information about Funeral Directors in the local area. You can contact your chosen Funeral Director as soon as you wish, even before you have registered the death. The Funeral Director will need the green form, which the Registrar gave you, before final arrangements can be made. The Funeral Director will then contact the hospital and will arrange to bring your child to his Chapel of Rest. The Funeral Director will be able to support and guide you in making necessary arrangements.

If you would like your child to be at your house, the Funeral Director can carry out a simple embalming procedure to make this possible. This is often a helpful thing to do, especially if there are other children in the family and if your child is young.


The Funeral itself

Initial arrangements can begin as soon as you are ready. If you wish to have a religious ceremony, the hospital chaplain or a member of the local clergy can advise and help. It is not necessary to have a religious service and you may like instead, to plan a service with your family and friends.

Your own choice of hymns, songs, pieces of music or readings can be part of the funeral service and these can be discussed amongst the family and friends and with whoever is to take the service. The Funeral Director is there to help and will advise how to arrange the funeral.

The Hospital Chaplain is also ready to help with ideas about your child's funeral even if the service is not a religious ceremony. The service can always be held initially in your house or garden, before going on to the cemetery or crematorium.


What is important, is that the funeral should be personal to your child and family and that it is a proper way of recognising what has happened to your child and of saying goodbye (for the moment).

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